I sometimes get the one question that amuses me the most:
– Hey! Agnès, tell me, how is it to be a horror writer?
– You mean, a fiction writer?
– Nuh-uh! I mean a HORROR writer!
– Well, like any other writer, no matter the genre, I work a lot, stress about deadlines, have nightmares about the white page syndr…
– NO! I mean, do you like to watch dead stuff decompose?
– What? Like… Animals?! Poor thing…
– Yeah! Or, like, do you hold séances at night in cemeteries…?
– Or, like, do you worship the Devil and crucify kittens?
Side note: I get the same question about being a Witch.
My exact answer to both: MY GOODNESS… NO!
Let’s be honest for one sec.
Sure. I’m a weirdo.
Nothing new here.
And, I guess I like some creepy stuff…
Kittens are waaay off limits!
Therefore, let me give you some examples of my life as a HORROR writer (because, apparently, we’re a different breed or something…)
You are a bloodthirsty maniac who enjoys pain and suffering.
Show me some blood and I’ll vomit.
That’s a promise.
Same goes for anything that remotely looks like a needle.
You listen to nothing but Metal.
I also listen to classical music and know every single Disney song by heart. In both English AND French.
Yup. I’m the crazy one at Disneyland who belts “Let it go” out at any occasion.
And I’m not even sorry!
You go crazy for every single horror movie there is, even the very bad ones.
Yes. 100 times yes!
I see the poster of an upcoming horror movie at the local theater and I go nuts.
The same goes for Christmas movies.
Boy, when a Christmas horror movie comes out, I’m unstoppable.
You dance naked and bathe in the pale moonlight.
That one’s pure gold.
You wish you could live in a haunted mansion.
And… YOU DON’T?
You’re even weirder than me.
You made a pact with the Devil to be rich and famous.
And, by the look of my decaying rent and the mileage on my 12-year old car, I got ripped off.
What about you and every expectation people have about your job or passion?
Looking forward to reading you,
Cover picture by Monica Silva via Unsplash